Honesty is Still The Best Policy

I had dinner tonight with good friends Kate and Charley. They are also golfing buddies, Kate and I did a little rollerblading, we swim (or float) from time to time, and enjoy hanging out. They also throw the best Christmas Eve party in the park and I will surely miss that this year. Katie made an interesting observation tonight and one that rang in my head as others have said the same thing. I was telling her that we appreciated her blog comments and she confessed that the comments were often hard to write. "I am so afraid to say the wrong thing" she said. My sisters have mentioned the same sentiment - "no one knows what to say.” Well, I sure can appreciate that because I feel the same way myself. It is especially hard since Susan is a trained and experienced counselor so she knows how to see below the surface, read between the lines, and interpret non-verbal body language. She knows when someone is spinning the situation to make her feel better or minimizing the seriousness or potential impact, or just avoiding.

So, here's a word of guidance for all of us, please just be honest and candid. If something you read touches you, makes you cry or laugh, gives you hope or causes you to appreciate that sunset or friend or spouse, then say so. There are no rules, there is no formula, and there is no right or wrong answer or response. Don't spend time wondering if you said it wrong, too open or closed up; too sappy or not enough, too humorous or too discouraging. You get the idea and here is the point. Susan has always had a HUGE need to make a difference, to shine a light, to take someone by the hand and guide them to a better place. This blog gives her a medium to reach into places that have never been open before and she is asking that we respond because that is what every counselor expects and wants. She needs to know HOW she is making a difference no matter how small. Her mobility is somewhat limited due to fatigue and pain now so she spends most evenings resting in bed, watching movies, buying and selling on Craig's list and surfing the web (simultaneously). This blog is one of her windows on the world, a real connection to you and something that brings her joy and energy.

I thank you for how you all have reached out to her, edified her, encouraged her and loved her. I feel that she has become your daughter too. You have all cried real tears, prayed fervent prayers, thought good thoughts and fasted with commitment. So, thanks for your comments and all you have written. Just let it fly and don't be afraid of saying the wrong thing. At this stage of the game, the only wrong thing is the one that is left unsaid, because your words are written vitamins, your prayers are spiritual chemo, and your thoughts are healing tonic to her and us. We love and appreciate you all.