This weekend some really good inherited friends came to Colorado to go camping. These were friends of a friend of mine and for some reason my friendship has blossomed with them and the original relationship has been lost. I guess that happens, and is natural given the ebb and flow of life, but I still feel sad. You see, I knew before cancer that friendships were important. I knew that for relationships to survive they had to be nurtured. What I know now is that I do not have a lot of strength to seek out friends and nurture relationships in a physical sense. Those relationships that I had carefully tended to, remain, and are present to nurture me now.
I know now that time is precious and that when I am able to physically walk in search of some of those relationships that have withered it may be too late to save them. I have fond memories of adventures, giggles, shared meals and shared support. I didn't know that this time might be limited because back then, before cancer, it felt like I had forever. I know now that this was only an illusion. Though I may want to, I cannot jump on a plane when a dear friend needs me. I cannot just go off for a week or two and visit. Heck I can't even take off at 10 o'clock at night to rush to the hospital and sit along side a friend in panic. I took so much for granted back then. I wasted so much time being busy or being tired from being busy and what I know now is that I was not doing much of anything.
Susan
3 comments:
I share your regret over lost friends. One of my daughters keeps in touch with every friend she ever had, all the way back to grade school, but I haven't done that. Sometimes it makes me sad, but I've come to realize that, presently connected or not, each of these old friends made a difference in my life, are part of my story and have shaped who I am. I kinda think that they would say the same, too. The seasons of our life change, but we carry into each new season the "cloud of witnesses" who have carried us this far.
They are all there, Susan.
The think I have discovered throughout our many years of moving from place to place in our work in the ministry, the really true friends will always be true friends...time and distance will not change that. We just recently met two of our "longest-standing" real friends for "brunch" at a country restaurant, to which we each had to drive over an hour to reach...we had not seen these friends in over 5 years, and yet when we were together it was as if no time had elapsed at all. We vowed not to wait that long before our next meeting as we are all getting older and realizing that we may not have that many years to wait...but yet...we know we have all of eternity to enjoy one another eventually...so there really isn't any rush about visits here. I live the little song we used to sing in Girl Scouts, "Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other's gold." Enjoy whomever God brings into your path...and don't worry over the ones who got away...if they were real friends...you will see them again someday, and the love will be just as strong as before.
I meant to say "I LOVE" the little song...not "Live"...in my comment above, but then again...maybe it's a good idea to LIVE it as well! God bless you, Susan. You are a new friend to me, and though we may never meet physically here on earth, we WILL meet one day and share a warm embrace and a welcome kiss. That's the beauty of heaven.
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