The last two weeks have been a marathon of exhaustion, running low grade temperatures, visiting the doctor, trying to get some rest and feeble attempts to get all my work in. My body feels like it is a deflated bicycle tube. I have no energy, or a little, and it runs out quick. At moments, even the prospect of getting up and going to the bathroom seems too labor intensive, but I don't like the consequences of not going.
Chemotherapy is known to cause weakness, fatigue, and a feeling of being run down. Xeloda is proving to be no exception. I am also showing signs that this treatment is doing what it should in terms of addressing the cancer issue, which further takes a toll on the body. I have had so much fatigue, that we, my Doctor and I, have elected to give me another week or more rest in between cycles.
Fatigue to this extent can take a toll on the spirit. I have certainly felt a little down as I have felt too tired to move and at times in quite a lot of pain. I count myself fortunate to have long periods of rest and short periods of suffering, because I am not very good at taking it.
I said all of that to say this, when dealing with a disease like cancer, you are going to lose a few battles. I am aware that I will not feel terrific every day. If you are dealing with this, then you, my friend, are not going to have a good day every day. I like to stay on the positive side of things, but I think I need to report the truth about my process. There are times when I feel rather crummy. The last couple weeks have been challenging. I am still plugging along. I have my eyes on the prize. I am still believing in faith for my healing. I am thanking God, in advance, for his answer to our many, many prayers.
Keep on keeping on!
Susan
2 comments:
Cranking up the prayers for comfort in body, mind and spirit.
It is hard for most of us to relate to the struggle you are facing. The one thing that occurs to me is the tiredness I felt after having a heart attack and asthma attack at the same time. (The doctors wanted to put me on life support.) After leaving the hospital, I felt a tiredness that resting could not relieve. During that time it was such a struggle to remain positive, and as much as I loved my family and friends, it was such an effort to receive visitors and put on a "happy face". I wanted to curl into a ball by myself until I healed. How do you feel about receiving visitors? Do you feel it drains your energy, or does it help? Can you give us some ideas on how we can help? Are you on a emotional roller coaster? My family understood when I snapped, but I was so afraid I would hurt people's feelings! My nerves were so ragged and I was totally exhausted. Can you expand on this?
Post a Comment