Emotional Pain

All of us have had our share. If you have ever been a member of a club, group, church or any other organization, no doubt you have had emotional pain. It seems as if no one can agree on anything.  If you have ever had a ”friend” who talked about you behind your back, or told lies about you to make themselves look good, you have had emotional pain.

As children and teenagers, our hurts are usually due to someone telling an untruth about us. As adults, we expect maturity to step in and end any chances of these things happening. Not true. Sometimes adults can be as vicious and mean spirited as any child ever thought of being. It makes me angry when this happens, and I have to admit, I hold a grudge. A very long, deep rooted grudge that will hold on with all it’s might.

I was discussing this character flaw the other night with my husband who is studying to become a Christian counselor. He is serious about his endeavor, and has a lot of practice material with me as his wife…when it happened….these were the words I heard. “Well, you’re just gonna have to get over it.” What? I just poured my heart out to you, and that’s all that Mr. Counselor has to say? Now, me being me, realized that the look on his face was not that of a kind, loving counselor, but that of a husband that just thought “oh No, was that my OUTSIDE voice?”  When my blood pressure finally came down, I had to go over that again in my head. What he really said was, “ With  God  as the engineer, Jesus as the architect, the Holy Spirit as your block mason, and you as the mason’s apprentice,  you are going to have to build a bridge to get over it, or it will eventually kill your spiritual life.”

I have been holding a very large grudge for a while now. It stems from a person twisting and adding to her opinion of my family and ending with a person I loved and respected believing her. It was a jealousy issue that allowed a person with a little power to manipulate a situation and actually ended with us being asked to leave a church.  It emotionally destroyed me. Let me add that Jesus and I still talk daily. Nothing and nobody will take that from me. He is my best friend, but I do see where this was leading. I haven’t been in corporate worship since this happened. I can’t trust anyone. I don’t want to try to trust anyone, because it will only hurt more.

It’s now three days later and the Lord has been working on me night and day. Forgiveness does not come easy for me. Not when it involves one of my children. Not when it is to a person who lied. Not when they don’t deserve to be forgiven….wait, that last part…..none of us deserve to be forgiven.  Jesus gave us that gife.  It’s called the grace of God.

Now some of our bridges may be small. Some medium and some large, and yes, like mine, some extra large, but he is right. Wait, did I actually admit that my husband was right?  Was that my outside voice? There is a comment he uses that drives me nuts. “It is what it is.”

If we expect to receive forgiveness for our sins from the Father, then we have to be willing to forgive others, and “build a bridge to get over it.”

Is this hard to do?  Definitely.  Is it possible to do? I believe it is. Check with me in a few more days. I’ve got a meeting with my engineer, architect and block mason.  What a lot of work I have to do…..

As the Judd’s used to sing, ”We can build a bridge, between your heart and mine. Don’t you think it’s time? Don’t you think it’s time?

Let’s all focus on building our bridges to get over it…..we all sin and fall short of the glory of God.

P.S. Susan you’d better be having a wonderful time in Cancun. Just writing this one blog made me have to think way too hard! It also made me open my heart. God Bless you Susan. He will never leave you or forsake you. He’s proven that.

Terry Browning

Plant City, Florida

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