If you needed me.

If you needed a shoulder to cry on would you call me?  If you had a question about my experience that you thought might help you but it regarded a sensitive subject would you find the courage to ask me? Have you convinced yourself that I have too much on my plate and decide instead to let your need go unmet?  Have you made up your mind that I am suffering too much and that you must not impose?

I am sure that there are many of my friends and acquaintances out there that think just this.  They don't trust that I still have the ability to say no if I cannot help.  It might not occur to them that I am feeling so very blessed that I would cherish an opportunity to give back out of what has been measured to me.

I have not died yet.  I am far from it.  I have not been quoted any numbers on my life expectancy.  I expect that I will love to see my son grow to be a man.  I believe that I will be in attendance at his college graduation.  This is a few years away yet.  I have so much life to live before I have to think about that.

I do not know how long my life will be but I intend to make it as full as possible.  I want to hug and hold my friends.  I want to take phone calls late at night.  I want coffee dates, lunch dates and to schedule vacation dates and while I am at it to plan some romantic dates with my husband.  I want to cuddle with my baby and I want to take an active role in teaching him and guiding him. 

I want to feel like a real live alive woman.  I want to fully participate in my life and to interact with those who choose to be part of my life.  Call me.  Stop by unannounced for a visit.  Bring me chocolates and then help me eat them.  There are so many nice things to experience and I want company while I do them.

If you are sitting at home worried about me, afraid to call me and feeling guilty because we haven't see each other in awhile then stop.  Pick up the phone and I will do the rest.  I miss you.  I miss me and my life.  I am getting it back.  It feels good.  There are a lot of you who are AWOL.  ;)  Don't be surprised if you hear from me and I invite you to get together.

Susan