Saturday, February 26, 2011

If you needed me.

If you needed a shoulder to cry on would you call me?  If you had a question about my experience that you thought might help you but it regarded a sensitive subject would you find the courage to ask me? Have you convinced yourself that I have too much on my plate and decide instead to let your need go unmet?  Have you made up your mind that I am suffering too much and that you must not impose?

I am sure that there are many of my friends and acquaintances out there that think just this.  They don't trust that I still have the ability to say no if I cannot help.  It might not occur to them that I am feeling so very blessed that I would cherish an opportunity to give back out of what has been measured to me.

I have not died yet.  I am far from it.  I have not been quoted any numbers on my life expectancy.  I expect that I will love to see my son grow to be a man.  I believe that I will be in attendance at his college graduation.  This is a few years away yet.  I have so much life to live before I have to think about that.

I do not know how long my life will be but I intend to make it as full as possible.  I want to hug and hold my friends.  I want to take phone calls late at night.  I want coffee dates, lunch dates and to schedule vacation dates and while I am at it to plan some romantic dates with my husband.  I want to cuddle with my baby and I want to take an active role in teaching him and guiding him. 

I want to feel like a real live alive woman.  I want to fully participate in my life and to interact with those who choose to be part of my life.  Call me.  Stop by unannounced for a visit.  Bring me chocolates and then help me eat them.  There are so many nice things to experience and I want company while I do them.

If you are sitting at home worried about me, afraid to call me and feeling guilty because we haven't see each other in awhile then stop.  Pick up the phone and I will do the rest.  I miss you.  I miss me and my life.  I am getting it back.  It feels good.  There are a lot of you who are AWOL.  ;)  Don't be surprised if you hear from me and I invite you to get together.

Susan

3 comments:

Roxanne Ashey said...

I hope our talk of my ramblings helped inspire this because when I got off the phone with you, I thought to myself, man i have missed our talks and then giggled to myself about how you always know what to say and get in my head...now though i have to tell you I also catch myself thinking, CRAP! shes actually trained in this stuff (psychotherapy)!! You have been my personal therapist since before we were out of high school, and I sure hope you still consider me yours even though I wasnt as dedicated as you and actually went and made this a real profession! Cant wait for more talks...You are def someone I need and want in my life as much as always...love ya! and thanks for last night...XO

Anonymous said...

go ahead and make those late night phone calls to anyone else BUT ME!!! Mom

Anonymous said...

Becky,
it was only late night to me because of the time difference :)

Roxanne