Finding Your Inspiration

Do you remember the last time that you felt inspired?  How about the last time that you were moved to tears?  I wonder what gets you out of bed in the morning.  Is it a burning desire to complete the items on your agenda or is it a fear and dread regarding the consequences if you don't?

I watched an interview this week with Donald Trump and his five children.  I found it interesting what his children said about him.  They talked about his drive and his single mindedness in living his passion.  They said that he is uncompromising but that he is also known for being kind to the those he encounters and to those who work for him.  I don't know if that is really true but I cannot think of any better compliment.  I felt inspired.

I have taken the time to reflect on my life professionally and personally.  I have been asked to write my eulogy a few times.  I wrote my second one in my graduate program and I wrote one in a life management seminar I attended.  I know what is said about me in my professional life.  I know that what I am known for and celebrated there is not the same things that my family would say about me.  I am not sure what makes these two facets of my life different.  I suspect that at the heart of the matter lies passion and inspiration.

I do not think that I live my personal life as inspired and filled with passion as my professional life.  This presents a problem for me as I feel the need to suck every drop out of every day.  I am making progress.  I am aware of this internal conflict and I am taking measured steps to correct what I foresee to be an issue.  I have introduced different forms of each into my personal life.  I think it is a matter of focus and intention.

In the professional parts of my life I was fortunate  to discover a path that was inspired and in which I have great talent.  It became easy after that.  I struggled for a time finding balance.  At times I over worked and over did it. For awhile, I was in the right job but the wrong location.  With each self correct I was closer and closer until I reached my destination. I was always inspired and always filled with passion.

I am now attempting to do the same on a personal level.  I am working to create a home for my family that is beautiful and functional.  I am inspired to create a life filled with love for my son and for my husband and for myself.  I am passionate about my son feeling safe yet having the freedom to explore and learn.  I have a renewed desire to participate as a member of my extended family.  I yearn to connect with friends and form lasting and meaningful relationships outside my family.

There are a number of dreams that I still have in the works.  I would like an opportunity to pull everything together into a life that is balanced, beautiful and consistent.  I would like to be known, really known, by those who are close and I would like them to experience a consistent Susan.  I would like to be known as someone who found meaning in her life and then crafted that life to perfection.  I want to wear my passion on my sleeve fully recognized by those around me.  I am not done yet.  There are so many miles left to go.

I cannot yet say that I am filled with gratitude for this cancer experience but I am getting there quickly.  I am motivated to life my best life in a way that I have never experienced.  Every moment with my family is a blessing.  My hands are filled with inspiration and dripping with passion.  I just need to figure out how to stretch it and grow it in order to allow it to encompass more and more of my daily living.