The Journey Of Countless Steps

As I lay in the hospital back in October 09 trying to come to terms with what was facing me the very first thought I had was that people beat cancer all the time and if they could I could.  I had wondered how I would handle myself if I were ever faced with something so severe.  Am I really as strong as others believe me to be?  I searched within myself but could conclude only a resounding YES!  My spirit shouted, "I have guts all day long."  Not poetic I agree but it will suffice to get the job done.
 
This has been a distasteful journey where many of the steps were most unpleasant ones.  I had to grit my teeth at the thought of having a bone marrow biopsy and then another in the same week.  I would have done nearly anything to save my parents from being so frightened.  It was painful to have to give up nursing my son before I was ready.  I didn't enjoy surrendering myself for port placement..in case I needed chemotherapy and don't even ask about the six months of chemo.

Some of the steps felt near impossible as I faced not being able to drive for awhile.  I didn't particularly care for the shopping in a wheelchair and I didn't think I would legally be able to park in a handicap parking spot for quite some time. I was not allowed to pick up my son for 3 months.  Sure I held him but I couldn't run to comfort him and lift him from his crib.

I could continue here but I'm sure you have derived my point.  Through all of this I kept going.  Some steps I took gingerly.  Some with strain and pain but other steps were easier.  Some steps were assisted and other steps were cheered on.  Along the way I found ways to comfort myself.  I am inspired by the song The Climb sung by Miley Cyrus.  I put this on You Tube and it gives me a lift.

Each day that passes my son learns new things.  He is quick to smile and he loves to learn new games.  Each session that concludes I am grateful that I have helped someone reach a new step in their journey.  At night I lay my head down and talk to my husband.  He is always good at making me laugh.  I am happy to have found him and I enjoy my life with him.

Life is a fabulous adventure.  Each step brings us closer to the completion of a masterpiece though we don't get to see the big picture until the end.  I have met so many wonderful people that I would not otherwise have met if it were not for this segment of the journey.  I want to be clear that this is not my journey.  It is not my wardrobe, not my identity, not my favorite color and not my journey.  This is a segment on a journey of far greater importance and I want all of you to know that I am happy and filled with peace. 

Your emails, visits, calls, cards, thoughts and prayers help to sustain me as I take each step.  Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for donating part of your journey to pray and assist me with mine.