Monday, September 26, 2011

Trying to Focus and Be Clear though trouble seems to swirl around me.

If God is for us, who can be against us? Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 31b, 35, 37-39)

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:6-8)

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I am feeling between a rock and a hard place.  I see my Doctor on Wednesday and we will decide whether or not to take me off the oral chemotherapy drug Xeloda and put me on IV chemotherapy.  I do not like either prospect.  The Xeloda has severely affected my stamina and my feeling of wellness.  It caused me pain, nausea, and exhaustion. 

A new chemotherapy regimen will bring new side effects and challenges.  I will lose my hair again.  I will have to sit for a couple of hours in the cancer center while they pump it in to me.  I am growing weary of all of this. 

I am taking delight in my spunky two year old son.  He gives me lots of kisses and hugs.  I am working with a woman to regain her life and her peace.  We are about to build her a new safe haven to go home to.  It uplifts my spirits to assist someone in great need.  I feel quiet.  I have not written as much but I am not beaten.  I am not even close to being beaten.

I am working to regain my strength and meditating on the verses that I included above.

In case you were wondering.

Susan

1 comment:

Pamela M. Steiner said...

If God is for us, who can be against us? We KNOW that God is for us, therefore, NO ONE can be against us! There is no "IF" God is for us...He IS, therefore, I shall not fear what man (nor disease,nor medications) can do to me. God is in control...

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.".... Hebrews 12:1-2. Keep your eyes focused on Christ...the GOAL of our faith....He will NOT let you down. Praying for you today. TRUST!!!!! That's the word for today!!