Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Front Seat, Back Seat, Shotgun or Driver?

When it comes to your own support team, which seat do you occupy?  I have often written on this blog about how necessary a support team is but it occured to me this week that I need to play a leading role.  I am on a mission.  I am working hard to hold on to what I have and make forward motion.  I, hereby, declare myself, President and CEO, of my support team.

I will support myself in my recovery in the face of intimidation, dissenting opions and adverse conditions.  I will set the tone in taking care of myself, getting to bed on time, resting when I need it and eating to the best of my ability.  I will be honest about how I am feeling and will ask for help so that my loved ones my give it.

My decision may not make sense to anyone else but me, but I'm gonna go for it.  God bless my husband we do not see eye to eye on a lot of little things.  We have very differing approaches to financial decision making.  This week I reached my tipping point and went out and bought a brand new mattress.  I had been sleeping on one that we snagged free on craigslist.  I put some nice memory foam on it but, somehow, it just wasnt cutting it anymore.  Sometimes, I feel restless at night, or in pain or Huy is snoring.  We have set up a bedroom in the other room to give me a place to go.

I had spoken to him about it in advance.  He wanted to look for a nicer one second hand and I wanted to buy a new, good quality mattress.  I hurt too much.  I toss and turn too much and I needed it.  He was grumpy about it, especially when he saw the price I paid, but he came around.  He always does.

I am not suggesting that you openly defy your husband as a cancer fighting tool.  I am suggesting that when you know you need something, you can feel it, sometimes you must make an executive decision and go for it.  Our loved ones are limited in understanding at times because they are not living with the pain and the exhaustion that we can be hit with repeatedly.  I have already felt a difference having this other option.  It puts a smile on my face even when I am hurting pretty bad.  This little gift to myself shows promise of really helping me recover some energy and stamina.

Susan

1 comment:

Pamela M. Steiner said...

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do that is right for you! I am sure your hubby and family understand and respect your decision. I am glad you found a way to get the rest you need. You are the only one who really knows what you really need...so speak up and make your needs known. God will take care of the rest.