Why we celebrate

Nothing is more important to family culture than celebrations.  It is vitally important to set aside time to recognize each other and take part in official holidays and designated family celebrations.  Yesterday was Mother's day, which can be a special way to thank your mother and the mother of your children, for all that they have contributed to the family.

I think it is probably safe to say that women place a bit more importance on these days than sometimes the men in their lives.  I have seen woman after woman sitting on my couch crying her eyes out because her husband failed to make one of these important days special.  Today, I had a woman crying on my couch because her husband did not even seem to notice it was a special day much less acknowledge her as a mother to his children.

Men please know that you have the power to be the hero on these days or the villain.  Your woman's heart is easily broken.  It will continue to be broken because all of her family members and all of her friends will be asking her what you did for her on Mother's Day, Valentines Day, her Birthday, Christmas and for your Anniversary.  If you played the part of the hero, all her friends will croon and talk about how wonderful you are.  If you chose to be a villain, then all her friends and family will talk trash about you and offer to open up a can of whoop-ass on you or worse.  Your actions on these special days is an act of your love and devotion or a declaration to all that you are lacking in either of these attributes.

Woman after woman have confided in me that it is primarily about the effort and not about the material cost of the contribution.  If you listen to your woman and notice when she is pleased than this should be easy for you.  I recommend that when you take her shopping you make a list of things she seems to be interested in.  If you see her stop and admire something snap a picture with your phone or write it on a slip of paper and tuck it in your wallet.  If all else fails ask her what would make the day special for her a week before the day.  Do not ask on the day in question.  If you have no plan by the time the day arrives it is too late and trust that you have a heartbroken woman on your hands.  Also please ensure that your plan is complete with things your sweetheart wants to do or places she wants to eat and not your personal favorites.  She will not see this as a win/win she will be insulted.

When I was diagnosed with cancer all of these special days and family traditions unique to our family became much more meaningful to me.  I worry how long I will be able to remain in my son's life and to be his mother.  Mother's day held additional meaning to me this year.  I was very pleased to be able to share the day in person with my own mother and my son.  My son love to celebrate.  He takes great pleasure in having all of us around and eating special food.  My Dad calls it my son's wolf pack.

I know for some folks that there are particular days that hold negative attachments for them.  If this is the case then I suggest you get out your calendar, sit down with your significant other and pick out a new day to celebrate.  If it is your birthday then cancel the d/o/b date and select a celebrate your life day and make up the rules.  Your family wants to celebrate and they need to celebrate.  Find ways to make it happen.

If you are stuck on this then give me a call and schedule an appointment for phone session.  If you are one of those men who broke a heart yesterday than text me 911 after your phone number.  I will only charge my regular fee for first time offenders.

Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate.

Susan