When cancer/crisis calls..rally the troops

In my humble opinion the best defense against cancer or crisis is a good support system.  I know from personal experience that dealing with this kind of crisis can take a huge toll on your body, your mind, your emotions and your entire family. If you want to know what the best offensive move against such a challenge then I suggest you build an excellent support system.  In my case, the support comes from my friends and my family.  For others, I know that there is a lot of strife and difficulty in their family and extended family and this would make leaning on them in times of trouble a bit hard. 



Clowning around on our 1st Disney trip as a family

If this last statement is reminiscent of your family I would recommend that you begin working on repairing those relationships to the best of your ability.  You never know when they might need you or you might need them and even the healthiest families are thrown for a loop in times of cancer and or other types of crisis.  Good communicators can become screaming banshees when under extreme stress.  Rock solid individuals can be reduced to sniveling whiners.  Let's face it, cancer is not pretty and facing cancer can turn even the most loving of families ugly on a bad day. 
Now please hear the spirit in which I make this suggestion.  I am not suggesting that you keep good friends or family members around in case you need to get something out of them.  I believe that part of loving and being loved is contributing to each other in times of need.  If you never have to face cancer or a major crisis you will still need a support system.  We all need to vent and we all need a sounding board to bounce ideas off of.  I cannot tell you how often I see people in therapy who do not have a support system or friends outside of their family and it always scares me.  If there is a family crisis who are they going to turn to who can be supportive and neutral and who is outside the emotional turmoil?

Take a look at your life and inventory your support team.  Is is strong and sufficiently large?  Does it contain members outside of your family?  Do you have supportive people who live in the same town as you do that can sit across the table from you and hold your hand?  I live in a military community and often soldiers and their family have strong supports but no one local.  If you get a flat tire on the highway do you have a list of helpful and capable people to come and help?  If you have to take your spouse to the ER in the middle of the night is there someone to call who will pop out of bed and come and watch your kids?

If the answer to any of these questions is no then work on cultivating these relationships now.  You might want to start with some of the friends that you might have abandoned when you got married or got busy with the normal things that come with life.  Give them a call because they might be needing you right now as you are reading this post.  I hope that you never urgently need a support system but if you do then you will be glad you took me up on this advice.

Enjoy the giggles and fun times in the meantime.

Susan